


clip your wings on the way down

by Vasilisian



Series: Daily Drabbles [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Gen, Insecurity, Jealousy, Jo for short since the Elric's have a theme going, Johanna Elric, Sibling Love, Third Elric Sibling, a look at what it might be like to be the older sister of two genius alchemists, even when it's hard, god i love it, i think, not too sad, since it's fullmetal alchemist and this series hurts my soul when I think about it too long, this was actually supposed to be kinda sad, when you yourself can't draw a perfect circle no matter how hard you try
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vasilisian/pseuds/Vasilisian
Summary: Johanna "Jo" Elric was the first-born child of Trish Elric and Van Hohenheim, and she loved her family. Unfortunately, it's a little more complicated than that, because love leaves room for many other things.





	clip your wings on the way down

Johanna had always lagged behind her brothers when it came to alchemy, something she tried her best to not think about most of the time. Mom told her she was talented in other ways and encouraged her to try other things as well, but Jo couldn't help but feel jealous every time Ed and Al came rushing into the house with something they'd made.

It was that jealousy that drove her sneak into their father's old study and pull the dusty cooks off their shelves, pouring through the heavy tomes with an old gas lantern she'd fixed up with Winry. It didn't help much, there was little books could do to fix her wonky circles and wobbly lines. Ed and Al didn't mean to leave her, she knew that, but that the alchemy that was in their blood skipped a sibling cut deep.

The books did help her keep up with their conversations though, and it didn't take long for Al especially to come to her when he needed help figuring out a circle, but Jo still felt cut off from her brothers. Winry understood a little, she didn't have any talent for alchemy either, but she was learning how to be a doctor from grandma Pinako even though she was only seven, and Jo was even more confused by anatomy than alchemy.

Her only talent seemed to be reading, and she'd nearly resigned herself to a life of mediocrity when mom came home with an empty journal and a pen. The black rubbery grip that came with the pen confused her until she held it for the first time, and after that the challenge became getting her to put it down. At first she wrote about stuff that happened, like finding a stone with a hole worn through the middle, but it didn't take for her to start making things up.

She only tried to write about herself as a talented alchemist once, but couldn't even get halfway down the page before the fantasy made her cry in frustration. Her next story didn't hold any trace of alchemy, Resembool or even Amestris. Rather, it was about a princess in a distant country with dragons who saved a knight from an evil king. When she showed it to mom, she smiled and told her it was wonderful. And for the first time since Ed and Al surpassed her in alchemy, Jo felt proud of something she'd created.

Fantasy books replaced the dusty tomes, even if they were still read late in the evening. It soon became obvious though, that all those hours spending with her nose in a book or journal took a toll on her eyes, and Ed only laughed at her glasses once. Mom scolded her for ages and limited her access to books for a week when Ed came running inside with a bloody nose, but he didn't make fun of her again. He even stood up for her when the kids at school tried to take them from her.

And when mom took his books away, Jo snuck him the lightest books from their fathers study she could find. He almost looked surprised to she her holding the thin book, and Jo felt guilt gnaw at her insides when she realized she'd drifted apart from her brothers. After that, she did her best to spend more time with them, and for a while it seemed like things had finally worked themselves out.

Then mom got sick one day, and didn't get better no matter what the doctors tried. Jo held Al against her side during the funeral, her free hand clasped with Ed's, and they stayed at her grave long after everyone else left. Shivering, Jo tried to keep Al warm by rubbing his arms, but she refused to move until her little brothers wanted to. She was the oldest, and she'd already pushed them away once, there was no way in hell she was going to fail them now that- now that mom was gone.

“I'm hungry. I'm cold, too.” Jo frowned at Al's raw voice, speeding her up hands even as she looked at Ed. He hadn't said a word since Mom died, and she knew he'd taken their fathers departure the hardest. To lose Mom as well... Worry for him pushed aside her own grief, and she reached out to touch his arm. He jerked away from her, and Jo flinched.

“Let's... bring Mom back.” Her eyes widened, shock overwhelming her before reason reasserted itself.

“Ed, even the smallest bit of human transmutation is incredibly difficult. And anyone that ever tried to bring someone back to life failed.” Ed spun around to face her, eyes burning with desperate hope.

“Hohenheim had books in his study, didn't he? There has to be something in there about human transmutation.” Jo shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. This was too important.

“There are, and I read them, Ed! It's impossible to bring the dead back to life, and many of those who try end up dying. Yes, some people survived, but it cost them their limbs!” Breathing heavily, Jo glanced back at Al, who was standing up, a mirror of Ed's hope in his golden eyes.

“But if we have the books, that means we know that they did wrong. All we have to do is not make the same mistakes.” And Jo, Jo crumbled. All her arguments died on her tongue, because she could argue with Ed, had done it many times, but crushing the hope in Al's eyes was beyond her. Closing her eyes, Jo pushed aside the part of her that was screaming this was a terrible idea, and when she opened them, she met Al's gaze with a determined smile.

“Alright. But we have to get better first, there's no way we can do it as we are now.” Ed blinked, mouth opening and closing a few times, but it was the brilliant grin on Al's face that silenced the last of her protest.

“Wait, we? I thought you didn't like alchemy.” Jo didn't laugh, couldn't with the grief still fresh and their mothers grave right there, but she did manage a crooked grin.

“I didn't like that you two were so much better than me. But I'm good at reading quickly, piecing together information and looking things over for mistakes. Besides, three brains are better than two, especially if it's an Elric brain. I'm your older sister, and I'm going to act like it whether you like it or not.”

Al teared up, Ed not far behind him even if he tried to hide it, and she pulled them both into a hug.

“We'll bring her back, I swear.”


End file.
